Tuesday, May 14, 2013

Things that I like...

Some of you know that I've been seeing a therapist for the last 6 months. It's been interesting - she's been very helpful - sometimes just having someone to talk to that is completely disconnected from the rest of your life is nice. It's like you can tell your story to someone without them having impressions or biases on the characters. I can also express how I really feel about something... which I'll be honest, is something I'm shyer about than most would think. She also is reassuring and even encouraging on this crazy notion I have that I should just be who I am instead of... well... whatever it is that I am.

Trouble is, I'm not really sure *what* that is. Not to mention, that I have an overwhelming fear that I am boring.

When I told her this in my session today she just looked at me like I was speaking a foreign language she didn't understand. Of course I said it as I brushed the newly-dyed turquoise hair out of my eyes.

So my "homework" for this week is to make some headway on who I am, what I like to do, and what I'd like to accomplish. This is something that Garry has brought up with me numerous times, but the thought of "well I can't do that because my fibro/time/money/whatever" was an obstacle to overcome. My therapist said to essentially forget all of that (fibro/money/time/whatever) and just come up with a list.

I *am* turning 30 this year afterall, I should have *some* semblance of who I want to be by now.

The funny thing is - if I ask 10 different people I know to give me a list of 10 things they think I'd enjoy, I'd probably get a list of 100 unique activities. I'm not sure if that's a good thing, or what. So, I'll be working on this list this week, maybe some cleaning because the house... well it's pretty dirty at the moment and I'd like to see how well the floor polish I bought can stand up to labradors.