You can't always do it alone

(originally written August 12, 2011)

Yesterday and today has been a big lesson in “I shouldn’t can’t do everything on my own.”

One of my friends came over last night to help me with the table runners for the wedding and offered to take the others home and finish them for me. It was one of those projects that in the end I’m sure will look lovely, but probably wasn’t worth all of the hassle to get them done.

The list of things that need to be done before the wedding is looming over me. Guest lists, decorations, logistics… on top of this I am working two jobs and organizing the house.

So I split the work with Garry. Obviously he can’t go to my dress fitting for me, but I gave him a good list of things to do that involved more of the annoying logistical things that stress me out waaay too much to handle. Am I still worried about it? You betcha. I’m one of those people that I know if I’m going to do it, it will be done how I want it – and I know it will get done. It’s awful and I need to learn to just let go of that control.

With work, well it’s a little different. At work I’d like it more if a process is different than what I normally do, that someone would be so kind as to tell me instead of assuming that I knew and then because I didn’t know – well it backs everything up and things aren’t sent out when they should be. It’s stressful and frustrating.

I’m going to try my best to work around it – and since I’ve been here through an entire cycle of the documents I prepare I think I’ll get the hang of it. I’m just… stressed. I think after the wedding is over, all of our stuff is out of the apartment (there is still some stuff there that Garry needs to get) and everything is put away where it needs to be, I’ll feel a little less crazy. I’d say I could use a vacation, but it doesn’t really help things – what I really need is a clone, or at least the ability to relinquish some of this control I have over everything and learn to ask for help every once in a while.

The problem is – I feel awful asking for help. People have better things to do with their time than help me accomplish x,y or z – especially as far as the wedding is concerned. I really feel terrible asking people (other than Garry) to help me with anything if they aren’t professionals that I’m paying. I think I’ve turned into the anti-bridezilla. Where I will quietly handle everything, smile and nod when people say they don’t have time, or don’t even bother to come or RSVP (even though they asked me when they could expect to get an invitation).

Eloping would’ve been a good idea the more I think about it.

Anyway – back to the house projects. We called a local glass company to give us an estimate as to how much it would cost to take down the crazy wall of mirrors in our living room. Apparently the mirrors are glued to the wall instead of just installed in a bracket and it would cost around $500 to be removed. *sigh* Upon hearing that news, it was onto the internet I went to find out if it was something we could handle ourselves.

Luckily, despite being a kind of dangerous job because of the glass, it is something we can do ourselves. It will require a lot of contact paper, duct tape, goggles, and protective clothing and gloves, but we can do it.

According to the This Old House website – they said if you cover the mirror in contact paper or duct tape (we’re going to do both) and then use a cutting wire (like a piano wire or windsheild wire) you can cut through the adhesive and if the mirror shatters or breaks, it will stick to the contact paper and duct tape.

We’ll see what happens – I think we’ll start with the joint pieces (they’re long, thin pieces of mirror) and cut it into chunks with a glass cutter too (after contact paper and duct tape) so we’re not trying to take the 8 ft. pieces down all at once. It’s a project to wait until after the wedding, but hopefully done before winter.

We also have a few people coming to take estimates to remove the giant tree in our front yard. That, we know we can’t handle ourselves and is best left to a professional with the proper tools and experience.

Another lesson: make sure to get multiple estimates. You never know who is going to surprise you and give you a good deal.

Tomorrow is my birthday. Going shoe shopping after work and getting some sort of guestbook thing for people to sign. I’m almost hesitant to do that as it’s one more tchotchkie in our house we have to find a place for. I don’t know… I’ll find something I’m sure… I hope.